The D Spot

dreams like moths to candlelight
flitting flying behind my closed eyes
I remember small pieces
a memory of a memory
and did it really happen at all.

I sigh in my jasmine-vanilla scented bubbles,
glass of wine in my hand half full,
the longest tendrils of my hair floating on top of the water.
Candlelight flickers jasmine scent
Jasmine, the scent of love and
vanilla, the scent of passion.
I dry and put on my best nightgown
a spray of scent behind
each kneecap and one
between my breasts.
I comb my hair dry.
Blowing out the candle, I enter the bedroom.
The darkness beckons and I see your shape in the bed.
I lay by your side in my freshness and
vulnerability.
But all is wasted
as evidenced by your regular breathing
and gentle snore.
I sigh in frustration,
useless waste of scent and time.
A useless build up to nothing.
I pen these words by candlelight
while you softly sleep.

your stinging barbs and mean spirited criticism
of me and those I love
is not appreciated.
You come home and its a laundry list.
Why do you think I jump away from you
when you try to cop a feel.
passive aggressive is not a turn on.

I heard somewhere recently
that
Peter Pan left Neverland
and took a job on Wall Street
as a stock broker.
And that Wendy, his
ever-faithful gal Friday,
found herself a job in LA
doing set makeup on B-list
actresses.
Tinkerbell,
however,
remained with the Lost Boys.
Although now,
the only pixie dust they have
is sold on the corner of First and Main,
and comes like white powder
in a rolled up baggie.

It seems like only yesterday
What a cliche…
The air was sharper then, the sun brighter
the days longer.
We could run for hours in the fields
or
Talk for days about the little details.
It seems just a blink of an eye
since we were young like that.
Where did the days go
how did the nights escape us so quickly…
How did this time just
slip
away?
When we were young,
there’s another cliche
right up there with
young at heart.
Hell
My heart isn’t young anymore either.
And I woke up this morning
The heat of the sun still on my shoulders and
the feel of your arms
hands
mouth
still on me and
I looked in the mirror excitedly
but instead of the sunblonde hair and
freckles I remembered
I saw only the threads of grey thru my
brown hair and the merest of
crows feet
poking from the corner of my eyes.

Richard Bach is a prophet. These are his words:

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?

Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

The opposite of loneliness, it’s not togetherness. It is intimacy

We’re the bridge across forever, arching above the sea, adventuring for our pleasure, living mysteries for the fun of it, choosing disasters triumphs challenges impossible odds, testing ourselves over and again, learning love and love and LOVE!

Last night the thunder rolled,
rain pelting the windows like
glass on glass.
Fields flooded, with waves cresting
someone whispered the word
tornado
in my ear.
I watched in fear as the waves grew higher
wind whipping my
wet hair and plastering it
to my face.
I turned and went inside again
I will sit this storm out.

I don’t quite know who you are, you know…
yes you, the one I am always speaking to.
Don’t try to rationalize it away, okay?
I’ve been talking to you for as long as I remember
and I’ve yet to see your face.
I think you played with me as a baby
Ran with me as a child
Tempted me as a teenager, and now
Now you show up in my mind
my dreams
the words I write.
All grown up now, we are.
our games are grown up too
And still the conversation goes on.
Conversation, I guess that’s the polite word for it.
You change yourself a bit, of course.
Lately you’ve been tan and slightly muscled.
(Not that I’m complaining)
And you’ve been quite….
accomodating….
active…..
playful…
Every night lately when I sleep.
I swear sometimes I wake up with sore muscles
after a night of dreams with you.
(pleasantly sore, of course).
But you won’t show me your face
won’t give me your voice
and you wear different faces and different names
for different dreams or…
ahem…
conversations.
I think I”ve always been half in love with you,
whoever you are.
You are like
another part of me, waiting
just in the wings.
Was it you who took me flying?
I treasure our times together of course,
as frustrating as it can be sometimes.
But I wish I had you in real life
physically
and not just in dreams.
I have looked for you in every face
Felt for you in every set of arms that has held me
Sometimes I think I see you
behind these or those eyes
but
I wish I could see your face, and find out
who exactly you are.

a place where I find harbor
grace
solitude
alone but not lonely.
A hidden place, a special place
Found only where I put it.
Here I find my peace,
a place of my own construct, with
rooms to fill as I desire.
Perhaps a sun room, to meditate
Or a room that gathers moonlight when
I need to commune with my Goddess.
Perhaps a comfy couch with a bay window, for
watching the passing rainstorms.
Perhaps a kitchen, with an ever-ready pot of coffee
and
Perhaps a bedroom
for secret things.
Thoughts to think
Dreams to dream
Wishes to hang
on the stars in my
self-made universe.
Its safe here, in my spot.
I can be who I really am
or
I can choose to be someone else.
Either way
I can be me.
No one comes in
without an invite
And only those whom I trust
will cross this threshold.
And for now, I am happy here
in this place of serenity
Basking in the candlelight
letting my thoughts come as they may.
Experiencing each idea as if it
were happening right now.
trying on different ‘what ifs’
to see which is the best fit.
Here I need not censor my feelings
nor rewrite history.
here I need not worry about what is
good or bad
wrong or right
all i need to remember
is that things are what they are
and I can examine such
thoughts
with a pure eye and
pure heart.
No fears in the corners here, and
no darkness in the basement.
I shine in my special spot and
If you are nice
and true and
honest
I will share my light with you.

Great Goddess above Great Mother of all beings
Look down on me this day
Bless me with your love
Bless me with wisdom to know right from wrong
Great Mother of the world, Queen of Heaven
Place your love upon me
that in turn I may love those around me
Free and unconditionally
Mother of the Moon
Grant me understanding
That I may understand others
Grant me courage
That I may face my fears
and help others face theirs
Great Mother, Queen, Goddess
Grant me love and compassion
The ability to forgive
The ability to love with purity
*
Great God in Heaven, Leader of Hearts and Creator of all
Bless me with your strength
That I may be strong for others.
Gift me the knowledge of right from wrong
And bless me with the abundance
Of your love and understanding.
Great God
I ask that you support me in times of sorrow
And provide me the peace to survive
and the love to grow
and the knowledge to express
Your peace and love to others
*
King and Queen of Heaven
You are one and the same
Halves of the same whole.
Grant me Your love
Bless me with Your grace
That I may help others
who walk this path beside me.