The D Spot

Bewildered by your words, do you think I am stupid?
do you get off talking to me as if I were a child?
Do you enjoy keeping me in the dark, refusing to show me
what I need to learn?
Where is the love in your passive aggressive comments
“Its nice, be sure you don’t lose it”
“Its easy, you don’t know how to do it.”
“wow, what did you do all day? Not housework, huh?”
“the laundry doesn’t fold itself”
What the hell.
Guess what? I’m smarter than you where it counts.
I don’t set out to wound with passive aggressive comments that
make the kids cringe.
I’ve had to stop them multiple times
from defending me.
And I understand, its more important to work out,
than it is to spend time with me and
its more important to go to softball
than to take me out for mother’s day,
besides,
you already told me
I’m not your mother anyway.
And
its easy for me to sit here and throw words into the forest
but its so hard for me to talk to you.
Its been so long now,
easier just to bear it than fight it.
I made my choices
a long time ago.
but if you only knew what you are missing by
pushing me away.
If you only knew,
that you can’t say something mean and then say
“oh I was just joking”
and then expect me to wait naked in bed for you.
Mistrust me long enough and I’ll give you something to worry about.
Is it no wonder that I live halfway in dreams?
At least in dreams,
someone tells me I am smart
and tho I’ll never be beautiful
at least in dreams
I can pretend that someone appreciates
who I am.