It comes upon me on nights like this
soft jasmine breeze and citronella brushes my skin like
a feather of a kiss.
Lonliness is silly when you sleep but feet from me
and could I cross those mere inches, curl up into your warmth and
lose myself to sleep…
well then everything would be just fine.
But nights like these
leave me wishing wondering waiting for something
I have never had, and fear I never will.
There is a longing in the warm nights
a pulling of the heartstrings to feel deeper
love truer
find true love and the true lover…
As a teenager I would sit in my window, holding my cigarette in one hand
pen in the other and journal on my lap
writing writing in fair to good rhyme
waiting to be older, to have the sweetness promised by the jasmine breeze.
And here I am now
older
wiser
and no more closer to finding my hearts desire than I was back then.
I think the main problem is in the
not knowing.
uncertainty is the line of my life
Future unguaranteed and tomorrow only as good as
the paper the calendar is printed on.
Sighing I turn to bed
If not heart’s desire, perhaps I will at least find some comfort.
May 16
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