The D Spot

This is what I do. I put patients in their rooms, I start their IV’s and draw their blood. I hang their IV fluids and I send all kinds of their body fluids to the lab for various tests. I give them pills, injections, and IV pushes and I teach them about the medications as I give them. I change bandages. I check their blood sugar, their vitals and their EKGs. I give them crutches, braces, shoulder immobilizers and slings. And I teach them how to use them. I advocate for them when their pain is out of control and I medicate them as fast as possible. I call social work if they have issues with housing, abuse, money, insurance, transportation. I give them a turkey sandwich and milk for the road. I put their catheters in and take their catheters out. I measure their urine. I am interested in what their vomit looks like. I prepare them for their Xrays, their CT scans, their MRI’s and whatever exotic things the doctors come up with. I hold their hands when they are crying and I hand them tissues. Sometimes I cry with them. I help them to the bathroom and I wipe their bottom if they can’t. I change their sheets when they are in the bed. I turn and postion them as needed. I clean up a lot of blood, vomit, urine, and just about any other substance that comes out a body. I run IV fluids into their veins and sometimes into their eyes. I review their discharge instructions, I teach them about their medications and activities for when they go home. I escort them out the door. I decide which room the next patient is going to go to. I put that patient in the room.
I do this with five patients simultaneously.