The D Spot

Me: Ok, we are sending you home with a prescription for Vicodin. Have you ever taken it before?
Patient: Oh yes! I love the vicodin!
Me: Good. Well you know it will make you sleepy, right?
Patient: Oh yes, my boyfriend used to take it.
Me: Your boyfriend?
Patient: Oh yes. But he died. He was blown up in a car explosion.
Me: Oh how sad!
Patient: Yes, but its okay because he donated all his organs to me! So now I have a part of him with me always!
Me: Ooookkkaaay…
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(Loud yelling, blustering)
Security: Why are you so upset sir?
Man: Because I’m evil!! I’m SAATTTAAAANNNN
(More scuffling)
(After man is placed in four-point restraints:)
Security: Sir, I’m going to pat you down. Do you have any sharp ojects on you?
Man: Yeah! My prick, you asshole!!