There is a song that says “Rescue me, and take me in your arms…”
That is how I am feeling today.
I am struggling greatly with a class that I need to take in order to advance my degree. I have done so much to help myself learn but my mind is just not accepting the material.
I am almost beyond asking anyone for help anymore. What I need now is some comfort. I am losing faith in my own intelligence and I know that some would call this over reacting. The truth is that I am very unsed to not being able to make sense of things. And the amount of struggle I am having during this class is very hard for me to accept.
An apparent proponent of tough love told me that I could learn it if I wanted to and if I stopped telling myself that I can’t.
Ouch. That really hurt.
I would like to learn it, if only to pass the damn course and be done with it.
But its like my mind shuts down…
I have been working on the same unit for 4 hours, and this includes internet research for clarification of my notes. I took the test and the first time I got a 37%. This led to more research and a final test score of 50%. My average is now around an 89 in the class. Which is still passing but there is a midterm coming up that only allows one attempt. And the final. And four more quizzes and two more projects.
So yeah, I am making the decision to learn this stuff. I am just having trouble doing so.
But does that mean that I am not entitled to some comfort?
Jun 16
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