The D Spot

How do you put it into words, that loss?
The realization of all that’s gone before is so much more
than what is left to come?
I felt it again last night, that
bittersweet melancholy,
that
slow drip of tears heralding yet another passage.
Time never used to move fast enough but now
now…
now cruel time is racing by.
I used to count in decades,
Now I count in days.
How long until I count in breaths?
*
The glorious days of wonder
have all passed by now.
The dreams and secret mysteries
Are uncovered and exposed for the poseurs they are.
The greatest truth is the truth untold,
the biggest lie is that its fun to grow up.
Wrinkles start slowly now around my eyes while
my daughter’s flesh is firm and unlined.
As it should be.
But I once was her.
As I move out of mother and into my crone years,
I grasp feebly at the last strings of youth.
Old love poems and memories
Serve now not only as reminders of what I once was
But also serve to bring on the bitter tears…
salt trails down my slowly wrinkling cheeks
and memories of better times that would be far less hurtful
if they could only be
forgotten.