*
In the evening of the morning
of the day we went to hell.
In the after of the later
of the time when you were well…
I can wander I can wonder I can sit and bow down under
All the wailing and the thunder that tears my heart asunder
Yet still you are before me
I love you, you adore me
My one and only lover is now threatened by another
Are we bigger are we stronger
Can we hold on any longer?
We fight the fight and face the night
And grab the apple, take a bite.
for in knowledge lies our power
And in every midnight hour
we reach for each and every minute
that doesn’t have your illness in it….
*
Beast, how I hate you.
I hate your pervasive ways, your interfering serpentine madness.
I hate the way you took what we had and twisted it around
Until we have to fight to hold on to what we deserve.
Beast, We will beat you.
We will stop you with chemicals, with toxins and poisons,
We will remove you from every cell of our lives
From every thought of our future.
Beast, you will be gone from our presence like a bad dream in the sunshine.
You will be crushed under our feet like an eggshell into gravel.
You will be sent far away, deep into the labyrinth sewers of discarded medical waste.
And we will link our hands together
And dance upon your demise.
*
I watch you shiver and watch you shake
I watch your cough and the sounds you make.
I wipe your head with a cool rag
I get the inhaler from your bag.
I start to cry and then wipe dry
the tears I fear I have to hide.
I miss the nights that came before
When we snuggled behind the bedroom door.
I grab the needle, the medicine
hit the plunger, push it in.
*
sneaking around the corners like a silent thief at night
riding in the backseat when stopped at the traffic light
dancing in the bloodstream or in the random cells
coming like a coward, leaving a path of living hell.
What creeps within the corners
what knocks upon the door
what comes when no one’s looking
and then sneaks away once more
And in the final moments, while all is calm at night
a sudden breath of darkness and another soul takes flight.
there is no rhyme or reason
there is no way to say
whether you or me tomorrow
whether someone else today
I hear the spiders laughing
while spinning on their webs
I hear the planets sighing
While those behind are crying
At another sudden passing
*
Start with six little green and yellows in a divided dose a day.
The round orange one to offset the side effect of the green and yellows.
The purple capsule to mend the pain that the little white one caused.
The big white ones pack a punch so don’t get addicted (the addiction of the stars!)
the clear stuff comes from a needle. You will be quite sick in 8-10 hours.
Not so bad, a fever and chills.
Oh yes, you might lose some hair.
Do this three times a week.
Don’t forget your vitamins, your cholesterol, your blood pressure pills.
Drink 10 cups of water a day, and remember–
think positive.
*
This morning I woke up early, and like
every other morning, I peeked out the window
to see what weather I will face this day.
Imagine my surprise, when I was near blinded
By a flash of early-morning sunlight.
So bright, and so uncommonly warm.
The grass outside was colored a deep
emerald green, and I could see the tree in profile,
Small buds standing out on the branches like
miniature sentries, holding on for the spring.
I sighed and I laid back down for just another minute.
I turned to look at you
A small sliver of the sunlight fell in the window and carressed your face.
Golden light across your cheeks, I gently touched you and we shared the warmth.
You smiled as you slept.
And I smiled too.